One of the most stress-inducing life events you can go through is a divorce. Even if you have the most amicable of divorces, there is still an incredible amount of stress that goes along with it. However, divorces don’t just result in stress. Very often they result in wanting to work things out. If you’re a guy, you may be wondering how to get your ex-wife back. Is it possible? It sure is, many men have made it work. Will it be easy? Nope. But the most important things rarely are.

1. Give it time. Look, you just went through a divorce, okay? This isn’t something to be taken lightly, and there are sure to be hurt feelings on both sides. Also, going through a divorce takes time, and in theory, both parties must have agreed to it to some extent. All of this is to say that you both need time to think things through and give your emotions a chance to get back under control. Just as you didn’t jump into the divorce, you shouldn’t jump back into getting back together with your ex.

2. Be honest. You need to be completely honest from this very moment forward. This means you have to look at your marriage honestly; what went wrong and what went right. You need to be honest about your desire to get your ex-wife back. It’s okay if you are unsure at this point, either way, be honest about it. It’s perfectly natural to want to be back together, but to have doubts about whether it could really work.

3. Take a look at yourself. To be fair, it takes to people to get a divorce. However, the only person you can make change is yourself. Even if you would like your ex-wife to change a few things, you have to work on yourself first. Once she sees how you have changed, she may be more willing to make some changes herself. Regardless, don’t leave any stone unturned when looking at yourself. You need to readily admit your faults and your role in the divorce. It won’t be easy, but it’s vital to get her back.

4. Talk to your ex. You have taken some time to consider things, are being honest, and have taken a hard, honest look at yourself, now it’s time to talk to your ex. Telling her everything and saying you want to get married again on that first call is not how to get your ex-wife back. You need to take it one step at a time. Your main goal the first time you talk to her is to be able to talk to her again. You can best accomplish this by slowing down and letting things progress at their own pace.

Following the above four steps for how to get your ex-wife back will give you the best chance for making that happen. As mentioned earlier, it probably won’t be easy, but it is possible and it will be well worth the effort.